OFF

i don't know where it comes from but it's another one of those moments where nothin is right and i wanna curl up into darkness and sob. have it out and cleansed, i want to look through tear streaked delirium. i wanna be held. i want my mom to comfort me, to hold me - wrap me up and love me love me love me. i don't think either of my parents have ever hugged me or told me they love me - or loved anything at all. i wonder if they've ever wanted to be cradled again at the breast, if the thought ever occurred to them at all that that might be ok, even welcome. i don't know where i am - i slipped sometime today and found myself way way down. i guess i'll be spendin the night here - i'll get up in the mornin.