I CAN'T SLEEP AGAIN

the doctors keep changin their mind. it's dormant, it's not. NEED MORE TESTS.

all they're givin me is "it's serious." what? when? where? they tell us nothin but "it's serious."

i knew i was gonna feel like a shit when this happened. like i didn't try hard enough. i'm afraid again but i know it's not time to cry yet. there's still too much to do. we're goin to calgary in july so my dad can visit his mother's grave one last time. he hasn't been in years. i'm hopin my brother's gonna come - i keep beatin him over the head about this. i wonder if knows how important it is. does he realize this will be the first vacation, the first trip we'll take together as a family in 21 years.

i can't believe it's taken over 2 decades for us to reconcile our differences. but here we are and just in time. i hope it's enough.