SODA CRACKERS & INSTANT COFFEE
lunch, saturday.
u had soup and it came with a pack of crackers. u picked up the familiar red, turned it once and then again - yup, still 2 crackers. u'r eyes tell me u'r thinkin, u'r smiling - or not really smiling but gesturing to no one that u remember something but u'r not telling, it's kinda sad and behind u'r half smile i know that u'r protecting me.
u'r afraid, i think.
lunch was hard. i sat across from u spontaneously tearing up. i swallowed hard, tried not to let u see. wiped away the tears with my sleeve, lookin this way and that hopin u wouldn't notice.
i wanna take u to fiji, to australia. do u think we'll make it in time?
after lunch i found myself craving instant coffee just like u used to have it. too much sugar and too much cream. no one understands this, thinks i might as well skip the coffee and drink sweetened cream. but it's u. i used to make u instant coffee and u would tell me it's perfect. i would always breath deep, like u did when i passed it to u, memorizing the aroma before i passed on the one perfect thing i ever made. now, it's the only way i can take my coffee and i even though i drink almost straight from the bean now i still prefer the smell of instant.
how did i grow up so fast? it must be 10 years since u'v found out i drank coffee, smoked. but we've each quit one since then.
mom sez i should get liposuction, it's becoming quite affordable, she thinks. u came to my defence - so strange. the skinny ones do look a bit like monkeys don't they?
dad thinks i'm pretty. could anything possibly matter beyond that?
u had soup and it came with a pack of crackers. u picked up the familiar red, turned it once and then again - yup, still 2 crackers. u'r eyes tell me u'r thinkin, u'r smiling - or not really smiling but gesturing to no one that u remember something but u'r not telling, it's kinda sad and behind u'r half smile i know that u'r protecting me.
u'r afraid, i think.
lunch was hard. i sat across from u spontaneously tearing up. i swallowed hard, tried not to let u see. wiped away the tears with my sleeve, lookin this way and that hopin u wouldn't notice.
i wanna take u to fiji, to australia. do u think we'll make it in time?
after lunch i found myself craving instant coffee just like u used to have it. too much sugar and too much cream. no one understands this, thinks i might as well skip the coffee and drink sweetened cream. but it's u. i used to make u instant coffee and u would tell me it's perfect. i would always breath deep, like u did when i passed it to u, memorizing the aroma before i passed on the one perfect thing i ever made. now, it's the only way i can take my coffee and i even though i drink almost straight from the bean now i still prefer the smell of instant.
how did i grow up so fast? it must be 10 years since u'v found out i drank coffee, smoked. but we've each quit one since then.
mom sez i should get liposuction, it's becoming quite affordable, she thinks. u came to my defence - so strange. the skinny ones do look a bit like monkeys don't they?
dad thinks i'm pretty. could anything possibly matter beyond that?
posted by tunabelly at 7:23 p.m.
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