XMAS SHOPPING

i'm gettin all my friends oragami boulders for xmas.

HOLLYWOOD FOR SALE

the original HOLLYWOOD sign is being auctioned off on ebay. got $300K burning a hole in ur pocket?

FUNNY THING ABOUT NEVER

i always knew that i would be deeply effected when i lost a cat but i didn't expect so much crying or the way it sneaks up on u all day long. i didn't expect to be disabled so completely. i never expected to be so alone.

it's funny how the illusions melted away once i reached out - k, it's not so funny. friends are such slippery creatures.

how do i always find myself curled up in the corner, hurt and disappointed, having been let down again? i let them do it. i see it coming, i know who they are and yet some part of me hangs onto the notion that they might be there should i need. but that's the funny thing about me - i never need. but that's the funnier thing about humans - we sometimes need.

it's the ones that promise the world that hurt the most. the others never promised anything at all so i haven't the right and yet i still expect to see a shadow should i look. salt in the wounds of a weary masochist.

to believe that i deserve better is to believe in some sort of order in the world and i don't. being told that i deserve better means nothing. i believe in now and the actions taken now and i believe in moving on and not rebuilding on ruins.

i
never need
never would
wouldn't dare

MITTENS

mittens
Originally uploaded by jennasi.

this was taken the first day i brought mittens home in may of 2000.

she suffered severe liver failure last night and died this morning.

she was the youngest and livliest of my cats. it's haunting how empty my apartment feels.
i didn't get back to her in time. i was not with her when she passed. how do u even begin to seek forgiveness for something like this?

u were beloved and we'll miss our little cat dearly. u'll always be the prettiest cat and our home will never be the same without u.

with so much love,

Meowzer, Cookie and mom.

i'm suddenly very disappointed in the people around me. i'm angry and just a touch more than resentful right now.

i have no where and no one to turn to. i've called too many people tonight and been rejected too many times to keep trying.

COUNTDOWN

15 days - 18 nov: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (which will also be released in the IMAX)

21 days - 23 nov: Rent

37 days - 09 dec: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

37 days - 09 dec: Memiors of a Geisha

BABBLES

i went to see North Country last night. we ended up at the late showing so there weren't a lot of ppl. when i looked around the theater i was surprised to see that most of the audience was male. it was reassuring that so many guys were there to watch a movie about sexual harrasment.

about 10 seconds into the movie all the guys got up and left.