STILL BLAH

rhonda will not be back this september as she originally planned. blah...

she will miss our friend's wedding this coming sunday. blah...

my birthday is coming up. this is the first rhonda will have missed. blah...

work sucks, i can feel that i'm completely done with the place. i hafta move on before i go crazy but i can't quite yet. blah...

i miss salsa guy. blah...

didn't go Atlantis, the tuesday tradition has been broken and salsa guy seems even further away. blah...

i can't go see my dad. he's been diagnosed with TB and my test came back negative so he's off limits for a coupla weeks. blah...

i'm hungry. blah...

the Garbage concert kicked ass last night. i wish i were still there or anywhere that isn't here. blah...

*sigh*

R U OK?

everywhere i turn, it seems my friends r all blah. i'm pretty blah too.

salsa guy and i decided to cool it for now. i'm sad and full of doubt. i've spent the weekend wondering if i've made some fatal mistake but i don't think so. i think i'm afraid and reluctant to going back to being alone but i do think it was the right decision. there were just some things that clearly wouldn't have worked and i've been too wrapped up in the crush to allow myself to see 'em. it's not healthy starting relationship thinkin that things'll change. that's for later on, when it's harder to turn back.

i saw my mom this morning. she asked if i'd been eating. i said 'yea - but my appetite has been kinda screwy.' she's sez, 'great, keep it up. maybe 5 more pounds and then i can ease up a bit.'

sometimes my mom just saps the life right outta me.

i hope those of u i haven't talked to r doin better.

MEEZ A KLUTZ

argh.

i gave salsa guy a black eye tonight.

i've been feelin off all week with these stupid antibiotics i'm takin but i still went to atlantis thinkin i'll be fine...what's the worse that can happen...

blah!

me = dumb

swing dancing tomorrow night.

maybe i'll wear a warning sign.

WORK

guess who just landed the new Al Pacino movie?

88 Minutes

in other news, The Exorcism of Emily Rose is comin out in a coupla weeks (o9 Sept.) the trailer looks scary as heck but i think i'm goin to go see it. it'll be our first big screen project since the big stink that was Ecks vs. Sever.

it's exciting to finally see some of our stuff in the mainstream. other release dates:

Two For the Money - 07 Nov

movies that have disappeared into the ether:

Edison
Man About Town

UNDER THE WEATHER

been feelin really blarhg of late. on anitbiotics which make me queasy. i thought they were the everything fix-its? why do they make me feel so yucky? i haven't been my energetic self lately, feelin gross and flabby. need to dance, need to work out.

argh. i'm such a big baby when i'm sick.

this week: get better

next week: 08/30 Garbage @ the Commodore, 08/31 Mariana's Trench @ Richards on Richards.

CONCERTS

Our Lady Peace - i have access to the early sale - i'm buying my tix tomorrow (17th aug). let me know if u want any!

Nine Inch Nails

THE MOST PERFECT WEEKEND EVER

friday - Aimee Mann concert, kicked ass. she played alot of stuff from her new album The Forgotten Arm. I'm still more partial to her first couple of albums but i'm likin the new one enough. Robert Wilson opened. he was great, really mello type stuff so i bought both his cds - he's been on repeat all day.

saturday - had lunch with my parents then hung out went beach bummin down at Spanish Banks. it was so nice! i'm glad i got a chance to get there this summer. we left around 8 before the fireworks crowd started crowdin us in. later in the evening i went to Hot Jazz with salsa guy. always fun fun fun. i feel like i havent' seen him in forever since i was feelin kinda down and anti-social last week. it was one of those strange nights where every time i turned around someone was complimenting me. it was really fun. also salsa guy introduced to me to a newbie salsa-er who thought i was really good. the strange thing is that salsa guy knows me as jeni and the girl he was introducing me to was named Henny. i was thoroughly thrown for a bit.

sunday - i played my first softball game since high school. i forgot how much work that was! then i lounged for the rest of the afternoon at Gill's place by the pool. i'm sufficiently tanned and relaxed but sore from over exertion.

my spirits are soaring again now that work has settled down again. the politics seem to have come to a halt, the trouble maker has quit. life is good and i feel like myself again.

injuries sustained over the weekend:

- the back of my thighs r killin me - i wince everytime i get up from chair or if i gotta step onto a curb

- my feet and my calves r killin from dancing in heels for 3 hrs straight

- my back is killin me from pilates

- my right wrist, right arm & shoulder, left thumb is sore from the softball game

my schedule for this week:

today: 3 salsa classes
tues: got tix to Shear Madness then off to Atlantis for salsa night
wed: 1 salsa class
thurs: gym
fri: 3 salsa classes
sat: 2 salsa classes
sun: not being able to get outta bed from being so bloody sore!

life is back to normal and i'll be damned if i can't lose this last 5 pounds with this kinda schedule!

GARBAGE

Garbage is playing @ the Commodor Ballroom on Aug. 31st. I'm goin to get my tix right now! anyone else coming?

update: only 30 tix left!

BEACH BUMMIN

Spanish banks. We live in the most beautiful place in the world!

AS IT SHOULD BE

ok - my life officially rocks again!

thank you all for being so supportive, it was the only thing that kept me goin. cartoons always make me feel 10 times better (thanx jaded!)

i'm gonna see Aimee Mann again tonight. it's gonna be a good night!

BABBLES

i can't sleep. i need to sleep.

as i was leaving for work this morning my necklace fell off, as it sometimes does. i assumed the clasp had come undone but when i went to put it back on i realized that one of the links had snapped. i tried puttin it back on anyway and when i couldn't, i realized i was broken too.

it's been with me for over 13 years, the one peice of jewlery i ever wore.

the time from receiving till now seemed to materialize and turn to sand slippin through the cracks of those walls i've put up to protect - no - to enshrine the memory from where the necklace first came.

i wanted to cry.

everything around me is coming unhinged. it's all wrong and i want to surrender into the familiar bend of the fetal position, set the clocks backwards till i am nothing again.

but i know i can't so i put the necklace away, went to work feeling more naked than i ever have and set my mind to fixing the life slippin away from me. it's quite the amazing life at times, i'm not ready to give it up just quite yet.

now if i could just find the balls to do what needs to be done.

i will not make rash decisions.

i will not violently hurt co-workers.

i will, however, continue to make fun of them and picture them all pickled in little jars of mucous coloured goop.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

in case ya can't tell, i'm in a highly sarcastic mood today!

jann: i gotta go feed my dog some valium. the fireworks makes him crazy

me: i wish someone would feed me some valium every time i got a little crazy

adrian: i wish someone would feed u valium all the time...lots and lots of valium.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

david: do somethin with these (hands me large pile of paperwork)
me: like oragami?

THINGS I HATE

bitches

full-time victims

unnecessary drama

veiled threats

wondering if big brother's reading this

fake ass ppl

loud mouths who can't keep their noses outta other's ppl business

corporate mind games

THINGS I'M GRATEFUL FOR

comfort from friends, old and new

THINGS I'M INDIFFERENT ABOUT

whether or not i'll have my job next week.