SURVEY

if a cute guy that u talked to all night at a party gives u his #, how long do u wait before u call him?

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

everywhere u turn today - breaking news: Clive Owen the next James Bond?

everybody's dashin around for some sort of confirmation on this.

...

does life really ask of us what we can handle?

LUNCH BREAK

why is it so busy today? i'm just sittin down for lunch! mmm...sweet n' sour fish. i've been gettin reqainted with my kitchen.

work's been really hectic - Underworld is wrappin up shoot this week so the OMFG there r so many loose ends hysteria is kickin in. i might end up workin on friday.

the wrap party is this saturday, hopefully i'll have fun stories come monday. i think Kate Beckinsale is still in town. i dunno who any of the other actors r. again with the dilemma - how do u non-smokers mingle? i'm lost at a party without 'em. it's like my safety net - i can always excuse myself. 9 days smoke free. what will i do?

AT A LOSS FOR WORDS - AGAIN

jann & i were trash talkin michelle today over lunch when right smack in the middle of the conversation she makes some bigoted remark about asians. my eyes bugged out a bit and my brows furrowed a wee bit. what the fuck did she think i was? then she qualified her statement by sayin, "well i don't consider u asian."

O! i get it now. i'm not considered asian therefore i should join in and make fun of them cuz it's ok to do that sort of thing?

i wanted to tell her the weird look on my face wasn't cuz i was worried she was talkin about me it's cuz I KNOW she was talkin about me.

it's funny that she says that i'm just canadian. why aren't any of the white people in the office canadian?

GOSSIP

Scary Movie 4 begins shooting in vancouver beginning of summer. casting rumours: Freddie Prinze Jr, Shia LeBeuof, and Andre 3000 of Outkast fame.

X-Men 3 to begin shoot later this spring. hoping for a release date in 2006. as we gathered from the end of the 2nd movie, Beast will be included in this one. also to be added: Gambit & Angel. rumour: Angel will be a girl.

remake of John Carpenter's classic, The Fog, has just added Selma Blair, DeRay Davis and Rade Serbedzija to join Tom Welling (*swoon*) and Maggie Grace.

real up n' comin sreenwriter Sheldon Turner has signed on to write the Magneto, the 2nd X-Men movie spin off. Wolverine will be produced by Hugh Jackman and written by David Benioff (who's also workin on Piers Anthony's "A Spell for Chameleon").

Eric Jendreson is writting the 11th Star Trek movie. where else can it go? rumour has it that this movie is pre-Kirk.

marvel comics line up:

2005
Elektra
Fantastic Four

2006
X-Men 3
Iron Man
Ghost Rider (Nicolas Cage)
Luke Cage
Punisher 2
Deathlok

2007
Spider Man 3
Namor
The Hulk 2
Wolverine

Alex Kurtzman & Roberto Orci (the creators of Alias) writing the new Transformers screenplay. Steven Spielberg (who's workin w/our TO office on "Into the West") is executive producing.

Ben Affleck (yeck!) to star in Truth, Justice & the American Way, biopic on Superman Actor George Reeves (they've got to be kiddin! i'd rather see my mom play this part than Affleck.)

I CAN'T SLEEP AGAIN

the doctors keep changin their mind. it's dormant, it's not. NEED MORE TESTS.

all they're givin me is "it's serious." what? when? where? they tell us nothin but "it's serious."

i knew i was gonna feel like a shit when this happened. like i didn't try hard enough. i'm afraid again but i know it's not time to cry yet. there's still too much to do. we're goin to calgary in july so my dad can visit his mother's grave one last time. he hasn't been in years. i'm hopin my brother's gonna come - i keep beatin him over the head about this. i wonder if knows how important it is. does he realize this will be the first vacation, the first trip we'll take together as a family in 21 years.

i can't believe it's taken over 2 decades for us to reconcile our differences. but here we are and just in time. i hope it's enough.

NOT WHAT ANY OF US EXPECTED

things so rarely turn out they way i intend it to but somehow it's always ok. maybe the world is fair, maybe i'm lucky or resilient but it'll always work out and i know i'll be ok. it's gettin there, toughin it out that's hard. it leaves me wondering if i really believe i'll be ok. maybe not but i need to believe something.

i'm feelin a little left behind. it's a night for real regret and really good cry over it. i can't keep waitin for it, it'll happen when i stop lookin for it but i'm antsy, impatient and really afraid it's not really gonna be ok. like the mistakes i've made were made for too long and i should just be content and grateful for what i have now. any more would just be a pipe dream.

i'm really happy for u rhonda, i really am. the cryin really was for u but u know better than anyone that it was a bit for me. hang on to what u found for as long as it fills u with happiness and not a second longer. no one deserves it more than u and who knows - maybe it really will be my turn next.

FUN NEWS

i SO want the deluxe edition of Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince! i can't wait! i'm gonna hafta get this one and the bloomsbury's hardback.

the other thing makin me jump up and down: joss whedon has officially signed on to do the Wonder Woman movie. whedon is my god but u all know this already. it's brilliant, it really is.

RESTLESS

it's way too late to be up and i want a smoke. i don't have any, of course - 3 days smoke free. i'm twitchy and uncomfortable. i'm too hot, too cold- no not too cold, just uncomfortable. i wish jo was here, but that's how it is - i'm not really sure what the heck to do with u when u r here. i hate how much thinkin i do at this hour, the buzzin in my head drives me crazy. i list and relist all the things i need to do, then the things i want to do and then i list them again and i add to the list and make a list of all the things i need to do to get to the things in the first list of things i needed to do. the buzzin in my head is insanity cuz really, what can i do at 3 in the morning?

QUOTE OF THE DAY

adrian: wow! everytime i look at the clock, it's later in the day!

me: erhm...is there some other way it's s'possed work that i don't know about?

BLEH

it's been an odd week of emotions. my dad hasn't been well, all my friends are off somewhere far far away or preparing to be off far far away. i'm feelin a bit like a dust bunny swept into a corner.

it's not quite right to say that i've been really busy but it'd be a lie if i said i had alot of free time to myself. i guess i'm just busy enough to keep me coastin along. i tried to reserve saturday for myself but that didn't work. when did it become so hard for me shut out the world? maybe this is a good thing but i'm feelin drained, tired and see no end in sight. it's a tad overwhelming and discouraging not knowing when i'm gonna be able to recharge.

i'll hafta do somethin nice for myself this week.

INTRODUCING AMELIA

sleepin amelia
Originally uploaded by jennasi.

i finally uploaded the pic's of amelia.
congrats hanako!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"forget village idiot, it's like workin with a village OF idiots!"

SUNDAY MORNING

i don't remember the last time i had a whole day to myself. no parents, no obligations, no nothin. it didn't even occur to me to make any coffee this morning - i don't think i've ever made coffee in my new apt.

i'm gonna make some coffee and go sit out on the patio, in my pajamas, for a while.

NOT WHAT IT USED TO B

my memory - shot. nil. zilch. gonno.

i keep makin plans with ppl and then forgetting. or worse - i'm double booking! today i even triple booked. i was s'possed to go the gym with janet (at long last) but i had told my dad that i would pick up a perscription for him and "fix" internet related things. (my dad thinks his compooter is broke everytime he gets an error page) but i also told my cousin i'd help him with his essay that's due tomorrow. yoink!

i hang my head in shame and apologize profusely.

i had lunch with alan and janet today - missed a confrence call that i forgot about.

it's not just my memory - i think it's my mind. losin it. reading is hard. writting - ha! not likely. comprehension - bare minimum. i can't believe how long i've been out of school for. so finishin a degree? not lookin likely at this point - but i comfort myeslf with the thought it was never me that wanted me to get one. i think i'm doin just fine without and me and acedemia never really rubbed the right way.

so have i gotten to place that i'm goin ok with settlin in? i think so. there's no shame in my job - i do a kick ass job, know my shit and it only makes me wanna kill myself some of the time. again - not me that thought this was a rut to be gotten out of. i think i have a career. *shiver* i don't want to waste any more time preparing to live, i just want to do it. my job provides sustenance and allows for lots of down time for me to pursue other interests. there's so much i wanna try! sure, it hasn't been so comfortable lately but when it's slow - it's s-l-o-w! last year was a freak of nature. my job really is only 4 months on and 8 months of tryin to amuse myself 9 hrs a day in my cubicle.

so i'm in a good place - but maybe it's time to invest in a pda.

HOLLYWOOD NORTH

the provincial government’s decision to increase its film tax incentives for domestic and foreign production has generated somethin around $350 million in new film and television projects in BC. it's an exciting time to be in the industry - it's boomin! i heard that there were about 23 projects starting up within months and there another 20 some odd items on the rumours list.

i am so takin advatage of all the free time i have right now. it looks like it's back 12+ hr days in a matter of months. sad.

interesting rumours of vancouver projects this year - that u never heard from me:

hollow man 2
i dream of jeannie (a feature film) - eh?
legally blonde (a series) - ?!?!
x-men 3

CHEAP TIX

if anyone's itchin for some live theatre for a reasonable price - the stanley theatre is showing Unless by Carol Shields & Sara Cassidy! on the 31st march tix go for $19.50. i'm goin to get my tix soon, anyone wanna come with?

SO TIRED I THINK I'M HIGH

of all the places i could be, i am here.

if u could just stand still - stop - curl up between one moment and the next u would find that there is somethin quite romantic about life.

of all the people in the world, i am me.

is it the right turns u took that brought u to where u are and is it the wrong turns that made u who u r?

what if being here and being u is the only magic u've ever needed? if findin ur way here, this stardusted moment, is all u had to do - would u?